One speech slot. Two people with stories. A surprising amount of admin for something that ends with a drink.
A joint best man speech works best when you plan it as one piece from the start. Agree the shape, decide who owns each story, and write the joins together. You can sound like two different people without making the room sit through two separate speeches.
Here are three formats to choose from, a worked handover and the practical decisions to make before either of you opens a new document called “final version”.
Agree the slot before you write
Ask the couple how much time they want to give you, and where you sit in the running order. Having two best men doesn’t automatically mean a longer slot.
Agree one total, not a separate allowance for each speaker. Include introductions, pauses, microphone changes and the toast. If you’ve been given six minutes, that is six minutes together.
Then open one shared document. Put both names at the top and mark who speaks each section. Separate copies for rehearsal are useful; separate master drafts are how you end up discovering that you’ve both written the same festival story.
You don’t need an exact 50/50 split. You do need an arrangement both of you are happy with and a worthwhile role for each person.
Choose a format you can both carry
Split by era
A good fit if: you know different chapters of the groom’s life, and both have enough material.
A brother might cover childhood before a friend picks up the university years. The change of speaker gives the room a natural change of scene. You’re building a portrait rather than competing to establish who knows him best.
Choose one useful story from each period. A chronological split still needs editing: the room doesn’t need a complete account of his education and previous addresses.
If your memories overlap heavily, or one era has very little to say, choose the section relay instead.
The section relay
A good fit if: you share a lot of the same memories or want fewer speaker changes.
Divide the speech by section. One person could introduce you both and tell the main story; the other could speak about the partner, make the sincere turn and lead the toast.
Allocate those parts by the material you have and what each of you wants to say. Don’t automatically give the quiet speaker the emotional part or the confident speaker all the laughs. Ask each other.
This is a useful starting point if you’re unsure: a few clear sections, with a planned change of speaker between them.
The double act
A good fit if: you already have an easy back-and-forth and can rehearse it together.
One speaker makes a claim; the other supplies the detail that changes it. For example, one might praise the groom’s careful holiday planning, while the other recalls what he forgot to book.
Write the exchanges as short units, each with a clear ending. Leave room for a reaction before the next person speaks. Every sentence doesn’t need a reply.
If the interruptions feel forced when you read it aloud, simplify them into a relay. You haven’t failed an audition. You’ve found a format you can deliver.
Divide the material, not the attention
Use the same broad shape as a solo speech: an opening, stories, something about the groom’s partner, a sincere turn and a toast. Our best man speech template shows how those parts fit together.
Make a shared list of stories before either of you writes them out. Give each story an owner. If you were both there, one person can tell it while the other adds a short detail, but only if that detail adds something.
Keep the couple in view. A long exchange about your friendship with each other can leave the groom waiting to re-enter his own speech. Say something about his partner as a person, too, rather than treating them as the point where the funny stories stop.
Choose one person to lead the final toast. It is usually simpler than trying to speak the closing line in unison. The other can raise their glass and join the response.
Write both halves of the handover
A change of speaker needs a clear finish and a clear start. Write those two lines together so the second person knows what they are picking up.
Here’s a fictional example, with a brother handing over to a university friend. Use the mechanism, not the invented story.
Rob · brother: “When Chris left for Manchester, he labelled every box. One just said ‘important cables’. That was the point at which Josh took over responsibility for him.”
Josh · friend: “The cables arrived in our kitchen in September. So did Chris. The cables were easier to live with: they didn’t leave washing in the machine for three days.”
Rob finishes a complete thought and names the next speaker. Josh picks up the same detail, so the room doesn’t have to start again with a new introduction.
Put the cue in your notes, too: finish line → pause → pass microphone → next speaker starts. Don’t try to deliver the first half of a sentence while moving the microphone between you.
You don’t need a joke at every handover. “Josh knew him next, and can explain what happened to all that organisation” would do the same practical job.
Use as many speaker changes as the format needs, but remove the ones that add nothing. A relay may only need one main handover; a double act will naturally need more.
Rehearse the bits between the words
Read the whole thing aloud together, with the same notes you intend to use on the day. Time the complete run rather than adding up two solo rehearsals.
Work through this checklist:
- Introductions: decide who introduces both of you, briefly and clearly.
- Microphones: ask the venue what is available. Practise passing one if you’ll share; with two, check how you’ll avoid talking over each other.
- Position: stand where both of you can be seen and heard. Address the room, with natural glances at each other.
- Notes: each person has their own readable copy, with speaker names and handover cues marked.
- Pauses: allow the room to react before continuing. Agree a simple cue if one of you loses your place.
- Timing: leave space for pauses and transitions. If the run is too long, cut material rather than racing through it.
- Toast: name the person leading it, mark the final line and decide where the glasses will be.
Check any thanks or messages with the couple or person coordinating the speeches. Include what you’ve been asked to cover once, rather than repeating another speaker’s list.
If you can’t meet in person, rehearse on a video call first. You can check the script and cues that way, but allow time to try the microphones and physical handover together before the reception speeches.
If you disagree about a line
Agree a simple editing rule: either of you can ask for a line to come out. You’re both standing behind the speech, so neither person should have to deliver or endorse something that makes them uncomfortable.
Don’t make the other speaker argue for permission to remove a private story. Find a different detail that does the job. The banned list is a useful starting point for spotting tired material; your knowledge of the people involved matters too.
If the disagreement is about taste rather than privacy, read both versions aloud. Ask which is clearer, which sounds like you, and which says something about the couple. “Mine got a laugh in the group chat” doesn’t have to settle it.
Quick answers
Can you have two best men?
Yes. The couple can choose a shared role. Agree what each person is doing, including whether you’re giving one joint speech or separate contributions in the running order.
Who speaks first?
Choose the person whose material gives you the clearest opening. In an era split, that may be whoever knew the groom first. In a relay, either person can open. Decide it in the script, not when someone hands you a microphone.
How long should a joint best man speech be?
Use the total time agreed with the couple. Don’t assume you each get a full solo slot. A timed rehearsal will tell you more than a fixed word count, especially once you add speaker changes and pauses.
Do we have to speak for the same amount of time?
No. A balanced contribution doesn’t require matching word counts. Make sure both people have material they want to deliver and neither feels like an assistant to the other.
Can a best man and maid of honour give a joint speech?
Yes, if that is what the couple wants. These formats can work for any two speakers. Choose a shared thread about the couple, without feeling obliged to divide the speech into two opposing sides.
Put the first draft together
Start with a shared list: the time you have, your chosen format, one story each, something you value about the partner, and the person leading the toast.
Use the five-part template to arrange it. Write the handover lines together. Then read the whole thing aloud before either of you starts polishing individual jokes.
If you’d like help finding an opening from your memories, you can try the free opener. You’ll still need to plan and rehearse the two-speaker version together.
One speech. Two voices. A handover you’ve actually practised.